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If you are a spouse who suspects your partner might be
having an affair, wants to find out if he or she is telling the truth or has
a need to discover details of the affair, this service is for you.
Are You Ready to Handle What You Might Find?
If you have any questions simply CONTACT US. or submit your request for approval simply use our
SUBMIT FORM.
Solutions
Below we have some listed some solutions you can use to help deal with a
cheating spouse. We will be adding content to this all the time so if you
want to
submit a solution then please do so!
To let Cleo & Nacho Design do the whole work for you call at:
909.666.4740 or
Request our services.
If you would like to it your self read on on this tips!
Monitor their computer
One of the most popular solutions with those suffering from a cheating
spouse is - monitor their computer. Most cheating spouses will typically send
email, buy flowers, clothes, instant message, etc, that reveal their
cheating on their computer. By monitoring their computer you can view what
sites they visit, who they email and talk to, what they buy online, and
much more! To help you find out if he or she is cheating e-mail us at:
support@cquis.com or Request our
services
List of : SPY SOFTWARE. Recommended by us! coming
soon!
The desire, sometime a fairly strong desire to spy or find out exactly
what is happening between your partner and the other person, is commonly
very strong, especially at disclosure of the affair or prior to that when
you sense that something is off kilter.
7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but
yourself.
Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or
questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted
him or her and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you
because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn't fit! I don't
believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a
tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed,
you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself.
You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust
more fully your gut feelings.
2. Spying may help you feel connected to your
partner
Who seems to be steadily moving away from you. It is a way of maintaining
contact and have some sort of connection to this stranger who once was
well known. Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as
children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a
game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection
and try to find someway to maintain the ties.
3. Spying may be an honest attempt to bring
resolution to the relationship.
You want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect
there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against.
You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a person of action. You
want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You
want to get on with your life. You know that it is difficult maintaining
your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking
about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and
be free.
4. If you suspect that this behavior might be the
end of the relationship, you want to protect yourself legally.
If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other
forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the
relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court
systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind
of affair facing you and the character of your spouse.
Please read through “8 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the
situation that faces you. This article will be available on 01/25/04
If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is
acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.
5. You want to protect yourself medically.
You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health
may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know.
Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it
gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when
another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.
6. Secrets are work!
There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship,
but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships
day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. It is the
proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about.
People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there.
Emotionally, you can’t miss it.
Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle
but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so.
People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start
acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other
symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional
load.
You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret.
If you have any questions simply CONTACT US. To
submit your request for approval simply use our SUBMIT FORM.
You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the
exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a
rich relationship and a productive life.
7. Some of us like drama.
Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our
society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational
triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or
mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire?
Or, you may spy to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.
Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?
Oh
My, how the person involved in the affair cries foul when he/she discovers
you are spying.
Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to
that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you
do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your
back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love
anyone that would do something like that to me? On and on.
Usually the person having the affair does not see or will not admit the
duplicity of his/her clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the
villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn’t make
sense, but then again not much about an affair borders close to sanity.
Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying
the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The
integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the affair. The
affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you
made.
The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective
boundaries. The affair broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act
of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek
the truth and resolve the pain and deception.
Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is
to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to
begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage
and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.
Are You Ready to Handle What You Might Find?
If you have any questions simply CONTACT US. To
submit your request for approval simply use our SUBMIT FORM.
Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover? Can you
imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your response will be
to the worst-case scenario. Are you ready? Here are some specific
questions to ask yourself:
1) Do I have friends I can count on for support if I discover the worst?
Do they know I might need them? Have I told them exactly how they might
help me? Do I have the capacity to stand back from the deep emotions and
not get mired or lost in destructive thoughts and feelings?
2) How have I handled emotional pain in the past? What if it gets almost
unbearable? If I encounter the worst possible emotional hurt and pain, do
I have a therapist I can contact immediately and see soon to help me
through the rough sports?
3) What will be my strategy for what I find? Do I have a strategy for the
different scenarios? Do I have a strategy to confront or not confront my
spouse? How, when and under what circumstances will I confront him/her?
4) What kind of strategy will I have for self-care? What will I need to do
to keep myself functioning somewhat effectively?
5) Do I have a coach or an objective someone who can help me develop
strategies and goals for confrontation and self-care and keep me focused
and working on these strategies and goals?
6) Do I know what kind of affair I might face? Do I know the prognosis for
that kind of affair? Have I educated myself about affairs and what I must
do to effectively resolve and move through this crisis?
Spying is Not Revenge
Do not use what you find as ammunition for revenge. Sure, you may have
wonderfully violent fantasies of what you would really like to do to
him/her and the other person. This is very normal. But, don’t act them
out.
Using what you find to extract revenge will only lengthen the
time of pain and anger. It will undermine your integrity as a person,
lower your personal standards and make you exceedingly unattractive.
Resist the temptation to sling the mud!
Keep what you find to yourself.
You spy because the truth will set YOU free. The quickest cleanest way to
break free from the affair is to set your focus on you as you navigate
your way through the difficult weeks and months. The sooner the two of you
can face each other, without outside input or influence, the better of you
and the relationship will be.
There usually is no reason to share new found information with family,
friends, children or the spouse of the other person. A concern about
sexually transmitted diseases or health risks might be an exception. If it
is important to share such information, do so without much fanfare or
drama. And of course, if you pursue legal action, any information obtained
through spying is sometimes might be helpful to your attorney. Some
“evidence” does carry weight in particular states or districts.
If you have more questions or are in need of support, please visit this
site at:
http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
If you have any questions simply CONTACT US. To
submit your request for approval simply use our SUBMIT FORM.
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Phone Number: 909.666.4740